AMP: Artists' Meeting Place and Resource Collective

Ewww, what's that under my nails? Ah, yes, I remember now....red, green, purple clay......How nice to wake up with clay under my fingernails again.....and to sleepily brush glaze onto a few pieces while waiting for the coffee to brew.

Picture it, Tulsa, Oklahoma, 2006 - Najmi's Spirit on the floating stage with the Wicked Tinkers, the finest pipe and drum band in the land......feels like it was a dream. Our first "big" venue, a whole five minute dance. The universe still owes us ten more minutes of fame.

So, the interview went very well and she said that even if she doesn't hire me, she'll give me writing assignments. And there are benefits after 90 days. She said she'd call by Wednesday and I haven't heard from her yet.

So now, of course, I'm agonizing over leaving the present job. How many jobs are out there where you can put on a belly dance performance for a sweet little lady in a wheelchair? I'm reminded that this kind of gratification is worth far more than the paycheck.......which is already gone before it's arrived, again.

The past few weeks have been a dark journey but I survived the fire, I think.......This is life and I'm still here under protest......let me remember that we're all spirits living in a human world rather than the reverse.

I put off calling her back until pretty late in the day and found myself agreeing to an interview. During the 90 minute drive to dance class from where my current job had sent me, I had so much time to weigh the pros and cons that I was sleepy by the time I got there.

I've done without health insurance all this time although I have been holding out for the promises that the company has been giving since January. We did get the optical and didn't even know that we could have used it for an entire month. I can probably pull off getting new glasses and getting them paid for if I do it next week.

Why can't jobs or men come along when there are no complications in my life? My dear, beautiful friend, in an effort to help me return to sanity is trying to hook me up with a job that I can't possibly take right now due to a multitude of complications on my current job - not the least of which is having health insurance finally materialize so that I can go and have those heart tests done before the next heart attack transports me to the Summerland....I just can't change jobs right now.

I've put off returning the call but I have to do that today. Universe, if you can show me any mercy at all after what I've been through in this last month, could you fix it so that I can just get a few assignments from this person instead of having to turn down the full time job that I'm sure won't pay enough and is way too far of a daily commute and is totally impossible for me to even consider right now???????

Good grief, Joe, I realized this morning that when you died last June you took me with you for these past 15 months. Motherpeace made it crystal clear this morning with the Death card and I'm blessed to have watched my own process. So now it's time to pick up the bones to see what the future brings. Wonder if I can find that medicine bag that had the snakeskin in it.

I've been writing, mostly journaling for two weeks now, something I all but gave up between the job, dance classes and driving. Almost too many ideas whirling through this crazy head of mine.... And I actually made a piece of jewelry last night - no, a whole set - pendant and earrings. I wore them to work today and got one order - but she asked for a piece a long time ago and I never got around to it, so it'll be a freebie. I intend to make it an exquisite freebie at that.

I noticed that the convenience store down the street has very little in their display case and asked about consignment.