AMP: Artists' Meeting Place and Resource Collective

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, we learn of Ddwwchllyff’s early encounter with a distinguished member of Caerdyff’s Indian population. We return now to the possible ‘incident’ at Cardiff International…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 13

“Once again, our main story this hour is the news that an incident may have happened at Cardiff International. We are getting reports in from our reporters as I speak… and I t..h..i..n..k(?)”, he paused as the director urged instructions into his earpiece, “…we can now go over LIVE to our ‘on the spot’ reporter, Samantha Panther… Samantha, can you hear me?” The sharply dressed and smooth news anchor, Richard Reese, placed two fingers to his right ear and frowned slightly into the camera.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Wolfcastle enters Wong’s Authentic Chinese Kebab and Pie Shop. Hoping to curry favor with the ethnically diverse, we return now to Ddwwchllyff’s ethnic diversity.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 12
When he had arrived in Wales, the young Ddwwllychff had, in addition to the battered old suitcase and Welsh phrase book, an envelope. Not wishing to cast her first born out into the world totally on his own, his mother had made contact with a local Cardiff Indian organization. There were no Bangladeshi groups in the city at that time. To her son she had given the envelope.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Wolfcastle motors through late night Caerdyff on his way to some stereotypes…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 11 1/2
Further along the street two police officers sat in their patrol car, sipping warm coffee from paper cups, watching events and waiting for the scuffle to come to a natural end. At such point, in Wolfcastle’s experience, they would finish their coffee and arrest whoever they considered would put up the least resistance – invariably the loser of such skirmishes. Wolfcastle wondered to himself why, in the meantime, the two police officers didn’t exercise their public duty to the full and arrest each other on the charge of wasting police time. He drove on, on towards the Chinese quarter.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.

In the previous episode, “In no time at all Land mines were springing down all over the place” -- a description of the Land Mine industry in Cymru.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 11
Wolfcastle drove back into the city. Once more on familiar ground after his excursion out to his old friend’s country house. There was something therapeutic about driving in the city late at night. It wasn’t yet late enough for the streets to be empty, the last dregs of drunken revelers were still staggering around looking for a fight, a place to be sick, a fast food joint or a taxi (or a combination of those things). A few late night studiers were also out making use of the 24 hour university library facility. There was some traffic too. As ever, there were waves of taxi’s rushing back into the centre to make one more pick up before calling it a night. The taxis were not alone, ambulances and police cars were dashing to or from the latest ‘incident’ and the ever present soil trucks were also present.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Sunny Quito seems familiar to The Librarian; a news team barges into the CIA.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 10

It all made perfect sense. Wales had a long and noble mining tradition. While building up the economy they would be cementing national pride at the same time. Just below all the grass and trees that still covered large parts of the countryside – especially the rural areas where the countryside was particularly prevalent – was a vast, and so far untapped resource: Soil.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, the cherrylipped callgirl and Ddwwchllyff discover a mutual acquaintance in Sunny Quito. It is confirmed that the Revolving window© works “at night too…and in fog!”

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 9

“I’ll see if I can find that for you – you put it on reserve, correct? And what’s your name again?”

“Sunny Quito”

“Alright. Here it is. ‘How to sue yourself for plagiarism – a macrophilological approach to lepus-cerebral ideations’ Kent, 2004. This is in big demand, there’s a waiting list.”

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, Constable Painting patrols the CIA with his dog sniffer dog as Erm interrogates a barmaid. Red leather shoes (Italian, size 9) are worn. We return now to Dddwwchlyff and the call girl…

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 8

When Ddwwchllyff made his half-hearted attempt at small talk to cover his unease at becoming poorly drawn by asking if microchip technology was incredible, Miss Cassleberry wasn’t quite sure what he was getting at but decided it would be best to play dumb. She smiled broadly and sweetly. “Umm”. Though sketchy, he was still awfully close to the chest. She rose from the desk – the desk in the library not the desk in the room with the grand piano where the Hamilton’®s gin and tonic was kept. “My, I think I’ll stroll into the next room and see if there’s still fog outside that window after all these days.”

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.
In the previous episode, we learn that the powers that be in newly-independent Wales (Cymru) have hatched an economic plan based on – land mines. Erm is still at the CIA (Cardiff International Airport)...

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 7

At the far end of the bar that now contained Professor Erm, a heavily armed police officer was out patrolling with his sniffer dog. The police officer, Constable Painting, was attached to the Dog Detection Department. The dog, Pancho, was attached to Constable Painting via a long lead. Dog smuggling wasn’t really a major problem in Wales anymore. It had been a major problem until recent times. Year on year the figures would rise, more and more dogs were being brought into the country illegally. The influx of cheap foreign dogs was threatening to flood the market and wash away all trace of the traditional Corgi and Pembrokeshire breeds long favoured by the farmers in Wales.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.

In the previous episode, CIA bureau de change agent coughs into her nametag just as Professor Erm, Spahndecks Airline passenger, inquires about Beer®.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 6
Following the separation of Wales from England it was soon realised that to make a success of independence the nation needed a new economic base. In the corridors of power, the stairwells of influence and the alcoves of legislation there were murmurings – something had to be done – and fast! Working parties were set up, committees commissioned, focus groups became a centre of attention. Those who felt they were in power, and those who actually were, got together to find a solution.

For earlier Chapters and an explanation of this dreadful story, see blog: The Cardiff Grandma. WARNING: This novel contains fake Welsh.

In the previous episode, the miserably mysterious Peppet discovers another piece of the puzzle when his mustache unfreezes.

The Cardiff Grandma Chapter 5
Cardiff International has often been described as the most perfectly designed airport ever built. The ticket counter is conveniently placed directly in front of the door exactly on the ground floor. Broad shallow steps composed of an extremely hard, durable, very smooth material have been provided to allow travelers to ascend to the first floor, where the coffee shop is clearly visible. On the same level, just there, are the news agent's and the Bureau de Change and the eatery. Between the eatery and the news agent’s is the unmarked The whole area may easily be taken in by the bleary eyed traveller recently alighted from the bus after two hours of journeying away from the city through the night, having traversed an unseeable landscape of shadows transmogrified by the hypnotic nocturnal miasma into the phantasmagical shapes of biotal flora.