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Looks like somebody's got a case of 'The Mondays'

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July 25, 2006 - 1:41pm — Ian Henderson

Monday, 24 July 2006 12:30pm

I hate you. I fucking hate you. You are a withered elephant with a flaccid penis for a trunk and a hollow, rotten squash for a head. Butternut. Every time I walk past you I feel an urge to cave your rotten melon with my fist - an urge so strong that I actually see a translucent 'ghost' of my own hand come out of my body and clock you in your gurgling, whimpering skull. I can even feel the moment of contact. There are parallel universes. In one of those parallel universes there is a man with a bloody, broken hand. He has just lost his job, and he is about to be arrested. And he's smiling.